HIGHLIGHT

All the world's a stage
And I'm the world's worse actor
I can't get my emotions right
And the audience can see my weird frown
I can't remember my cues
I must have missed too much practice.
I'm under the spotlight, and I'm so off-script.
The light burns and my eyes hurt
My skin prickles under the heat
And the other actors are trying to force me back,
ask me leading questions,
"What do you look for in a man?"
"Ever think about names for future kids?"
"Why would you need a diagnosis? Everyone struggles with that"
But I can't remember who I was playing

All the world's a stage
And this play has no representation
And people are complaining that my character wasn't originally gay
Or trans
Or autistic
Or depressed
Or anxious
Or screaming in agony
Writhing on the ground
As the understudy tries to come out and take my place
And I wrap my hand around her throat
And watch as her eyes that are mine
Lose their light
And know that though her eyes are mine
Her words are sweeters and well-timed
Her smile is always in place
Her hair is long and flowing
And her eyes have no light
People are complaining that my character wasn't originally so violent
Or crumpled into a ball under the spotlight

All the world's a stage,
and the audience is heckling me
Criticizing the costume choice for my characters
Too loud for stage, too distracting from the main plot,
Not enough makeup in the scene where I sing in church
Too much makeup in the scene where I putter around my dorm in drag

All the world's a stage
And I think I lost the plot
Maybe it's a romance, where a woman in a dress
And a man in a suit
Fall in love
And fall in line

Or maybe a man is the main character,
And a man is his antagonist
And a man is his ally
And a man is
And a man is
And a man is
And the rest of us aren't
It's all men in the main line,
Controlling the narrative.
And I'm the nuisance he dismisses,
When I scream in agony for him to help me
See me
Be gentle to me
And he grabs my hands
That hold fistfuls of flowers
And rolls his eyes and says
"Get thee to a nunnery"

All the worlds a stage
And I'm screaming in the spotlight
With my understudy dead beside me
Uprooted plants tightly gripped in my hands
Banging my head with a closed fist
Rocking on the ground
Groaning and screaming,
Repeating the one line I remember I'm supposed to say
"I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry I'm so sor-"

All the world's a stage
And I'm the world's worst actor